I warned them!!
I’ve always been dps. I was a mage, then a shadow priest, and now a retribution paladin. I kick tail, I take names, I beat virtual heads in… you get the picture. For about two months at the end of t4 I my priest was holy and healed Kara on the weekends, that’s the extent of my experiences outside of my dps comfort zone. I’m comfortable inside my delusional cozy little box where no one expects me to heal and or tank. When I want a change of pace, I roll an alt, or play another toon. What I do not do, ever, is volunteer to heal or tank. Frankly, I know my limitations.
Sadly, those closest to me don’t seem to believe in limitations because two days ago they convinced me to pry myself out of my comfort zone, equip my so-so healing set, use the talents in the other side of my duel spec, and actually heal something. Let’s just say, it didn’t go well. I warned them that I’m not a healer. I told them we would wipe. I expressed that I’d rather be beating stuff up. “No, you’ll be fine,” they said. Mhmm, suuuuuure I would.
You know, they say when you get your first piece of really good off-set gear that if you have it, eventually, someone will expect you to use it. We’ve all heard it. Well, this is the truth. If you don’t expect to be expected to do something you’re not comfortable with, for the love of the light, don’t pick up the off-spec gear. This is the reason that even after picking up two decent tanking upgrades, I ultimately decided to vendor them. Since then, I’ve never taken another tanking upgrade, even when no one else needed it. If I win them, I vendor them with all the rest of the useless junk from the heroic. I can’t tell you how many time I’ve passed on the Red Sword of Courage. Frankly, it’s starting to get just a little bit silly.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have quite that much foresight when it came to healing gear. I bought the duel spec specialization and talented her ret and holy. I collected the healing gear, but I never gemmed or chanted it. I just had it in the bank for the day I got up the courage, or had had too much to drink, and might want to use it. I didn’t have a libram, but otherwise, my healing set was in tact. I even got a weapon from regular HoR — two weapons actually! All in all, my healing set is pretty decent, other than the mail shoulders I was sportin’ (shoulder’s I’ve upgraded recently). I wasn’t too terrible, though my bonus spell power was just a little over 2,000 and my crit about 26%. I figured that would be fine, it was just regular Halls of Reflection, it wasn’t even heroic!
Well, you know what I learned? I suck. I was pretty sure I did, but now I’m absolutely certain! Not the awesome kind of “u need mor spirt” faux-suck either, but the real, honest to goodness, I’m-horrible-kind-of-suck. Everything on the pally healer’s bar is totally foreign to me, with a few exceptions. My husband is telling me, “you could use this macro, or that macro” but he may as well have been speaking gnomish, because that’s what I heard. I know pally healers have all sorts of awesome tricks, but I don’t know any of them. It was terrifying — I was physically, visibly shaking (which is what happens when I get nervous). I’m sure if you asked any of them, they’d say, “she did really good for her first heal,” I know because that’s what they were saying to me half-way through when I went back to ret and my husband brought his healer to finish the job.
So here’s how it went down. My group was just four, rather than five, and we were in there to farm the dps cloak off the last boss — two days of farming, we’ve seen one damn cloak! We got through the four waves of trash and first boss without anyone dying. They almost died, a lot, but I managed to keep them alive after my husband told me to use beacon on the tank and heal the dps. Okay, it was terrifying, but we lived. I ran out of mana a lot, but we lived. Then, came the first wave to the second boss and we totally wiped. It was a massacre. Those ghosts showed us who was boss and guess what, it wasn’t us. It was at this point that the hubs tells me that if I use sacred shield on the tank, I might have better success. I did, we lived, and we killed the second boss. I even managed to get this far without totally bursting into tears, which is a huge feat for me.
We killed the big, mean, bone guy, destroyed our copies, beat on the Lich King a bit, and started the gauntlet to the top so the most powerful sorceress in the world could moan that we’re at a dead-end (*eyeroll*). The woman can freeze time, mass portal, and solo the Lich King and she’s worried that we’re at a dead-end. Fail, Jaina, fail. So, we start-up the gauntlet, make it to the second wall and wipe. Hubs, who is normally our healer, was playing his lock, but he was having to use the imp rather than his dps pet and he couldn’t spam seed because the mobs were running rampant and killing everyone, so the Lich King caught up to, and obliterated us. This happened two more times. The fourth time we actually made it to the third wall before he killed us all. I couldn’t heal it, I simply couldn’t do it. Too much in-coming pain, not enough out-going damage.
Before we went I made my husband promise that if I couldn’t heal it, really couldn’t heal it, that he would come in and do it. That is exactly what happened. He took his lock outside, brought his shaman in, and we made it to the end with no problems. Arthas didn’t even almost catch us. He’s a better healer than I am, and I do more dps than he was at that point, and it just worked. Two days before this, he healed regular HoR with the same group, with a migraine. He had his eyes closed and I called out to him when someone was taking a lot of incoming damage. His healing instincts are unbelievable. I’ve never seen a better healer and I don’t just say that because he’s my husband, he really is that amazing. I, on the other hand, continue to understand my limitations. I have zero healing instincts. I just simply don’t think, or react, fast enough to do what’s necessary to be a healer. Also, I’m really super high-strung and healing makes me even more so. I fret, I stew, I get mean, I yell at people (sadly, with no kids, the hubs is the only one around), I cry. It’s not pretty.
So, the healing set is back in the bank and I’m back to face-smashing mode, where I plan to stay for a long, long time. I told Lovete that I was going to vendor my healing gear, but he convinced me that I should hold onto it. Rather, I’m going to do some reading up on what it takes to be a pally healer so that next time, I can actually know what the hell I’m doing. Maybe then it’ll go better… maybe. For the time being, I’m trying to recuperate from the horror that was my healing. At least they can’t say I didn’t warn them!